Das Tanken

Once again, Greetings dear Friends. I'm Doktor Veinerschnitzel and this is Das Tanken, the craziest panzer tank combat janatorial division any company has ever had, only here at Nilzero Heavy Industries.

Do you has what it takes to be a 1337 Janitor in our army of darkness and antifungal excellence?

dastanken

Das Tanken hingegen ist nicht ganz problematisch.


Job Posting

Date:April 26, 2005
Job Title:Corporal o' Cleanliness
Department:Panzer Dragoons Light Janatorial Division

Description:

Position will include, but not be limited to the following:

  • Reporting to a Unit Captain Panzer Janitor Dragoon of the penultimate lowest rank;
  • Handling the acquisition of mops, cleaning fluids, super shams, and deep-dish everything pizzas;
  • Maintaining a running log of, and reviewing statistical data to identify where antifungal excellence is not up to snuff;
  • Preparing for and coordinating audits by third-party white glove testers;
  • Executive bathroom mop-up and continual assurance of a surfeit stock of Gandalf the White f/k/a Charmin Double Roll.

Requirements:

  • Minimum of 6 years experience mop-in-hand step dancing. Mop-moshing may be workable, dependent upon agreeableness of personal musical taste;
  • Good oral, analytical and written communication skills
        viz. Bad Grammar = GTFO
  • Elementary School Graduate
  • Ability to handle multiple tasks
  • Colors inside the lines within bounds of page
  • BYOM
  • No fear of dying knee-deep in shit, or lacking enough shit, server closet fan dust.

Contact:

Doktor P. Friedrich Veinerschnitzel

Note: CREATION IS CUBIC, but you are educated singularity stupid by academic bastards.